discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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