I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
