Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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