Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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