If i come over, it means nothing
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
