What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
