you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
