She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
