You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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