don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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