And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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