u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
