thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
