i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
