I am in a vortex of obligation.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
