I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
