Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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