think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
