took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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