This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize