I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
worst night to have a conscience
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize