Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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