Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
