my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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