pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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