new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
