census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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