i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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