wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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