im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
