yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
