i think i have two assholes
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
