This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
