if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize