she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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