I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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