i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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