Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have fence marks all over my body
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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