There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
