there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
