good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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