its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
