Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
