I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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