I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I smell stomach acid.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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