Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
