do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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