I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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