I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i need some magic done to my vagina
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
