When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
