She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
