I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
