she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
