The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
