No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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