so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
