if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
