so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
