There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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