Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nicole vs. Life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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