Nicole vs. Life
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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